COME HELL OR HABEAS CORPUS

In the spirit of the law school commandments, I decided to elaborate a little more on each of these gems.  I’m not going to do them all in one post, because frankly, some of them are way more juicy than others.  Nonetheless, they are all pretty important in their own right.  I’m also going to rat myself out on which ones I’ve broken, and which ones I’ve actually stuck with.  Lets start with the first one…

 

1. Thou Shalt Not Fuck Any Member of Your Section Unless Necessary (RULE 19, JOINDER OF NECESSARY PARTIES)

First of all, this one is a loaded gun.  Everyone spends so much time with their section, it’s hard not to get romantically involved, or at least have a crush on a fellow section mate that you don’t tell anyone about (or you tell everyone about because it’s somewhat hilarious and you think nothing will ever happen anyway).  At times, it even feels like your section is a fucking soap opera.  Some days, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t give to have a camera following our every move just for confirmation of how fucking WEIRD it gets every day.  When you spend hours upon hours with your section, especially in the beginning when you barely know anyone, you begin to develop a weird bond and dependence upon each other.  At first, it seemed like everyone could get along without any drama, but I knew better.  Give it a month and people show what they’re truly made of.  I’m not claiming I’m a standing example of righteousness or anything, but spending hours on end with people and then seeing them out on the weekends when there’s social lubricant involved tends to really shed light on personalities.  A person could seem pretty cool and harmless, but then once they’re drunk, their true colors start to show.

Also, alcohol seems to be a running theme throughout this whole commandment, especially.  If you think you’re going to make bad decisions when you drink, or your attraction to someone isn’t going to be well hidden if you’re drunk and around them, keep that shit on lock down and DO NOT hang out with anyone in your section of the opposite sex at the bar.  I made this particular mistake, and it NEVER ENDS WELL.  Even if you’re on okay terms with the person, or even somewhat friends with them, it will always end badly.  Especially if the other person is a giant child in a grown up’s body.  There is no knowing how people will react, but if they seem immature on the outset, there is no doubt that it will make for future awkward interactions.

Remember, you are with these people for hours on end for a year, and if you think a three week break will cure the first semester awkward situation you brought upon yourself, chances are you’re wrong.  The forecast is not looking particularly sunny.  Get out now before it can get any worse.  I REPEAT, stop where you are, DO NOT cross into the fucking someone in your section territory.

This is indeed a commandment I have broken, much to my detriment because when you spend so much time with people, they tend to notice when something is off - especially when two people who normally have civil conversations are completely avoiding each other like the plague.

… and this is why my moniker is Harry Houdini.  Amazing at getting myself into particularly tricky situations, and most of the time, swift at getting myself out of them.  However, fucking someone in your section is not going to be one of the particularly tricky situations that you can get out of easily.

Houdini out.